The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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