I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
