eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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