You made me cry and you don't even care
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
