Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
