Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am puke
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
