he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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