i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
are you so shy because you have an std?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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