Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
