we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
