I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
