did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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