he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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