I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
