You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
