her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
