remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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