Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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