Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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