i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
