yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need to calm my uterus...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
