We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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