dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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