The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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