Don't you send me to vm
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
