you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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