It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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