I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
did i just pee glitter
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
