You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
