You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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