No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
