all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
