She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My vagina is officially offended.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
