How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
