just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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