did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
how does that bad decision feel?
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