Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
