thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
