I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
