i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
