I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's blow job season.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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