Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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