Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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