Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
