Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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