how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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