i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Mom said you looked used
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
