I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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