she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
