you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
