I smell stomach acid.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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