i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
