I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
