I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
