she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
