he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
