just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
